4 weeks old: Miss Marlo

Each Monday night I get pretty emotional thinking about the night Marlo was born. She's 4 weeks old tonight and sweet as ever.  She giggles in her sleep and makes the tiniest little sighs when she nurses.  When nursing, her eyes often seem to be asking, "Is this ok?"  Yes, Little Mama.  You're perfect.  When super relaxed, which is often, she sleeps  with her arms splayed above her head, like goal posts or as my brother called it, roller coaster arms.  She still loves baths and looking intensely at you.  She loves car rides, although has been known to cry at stop lights.  She is so easy going and I just hope she stays that way and doesn't pick up bad habits from her mama.  I can't believe it's been 4 weeks already.  I love her so much.

First Mother's Day

MAGICAL.  Eric made me blueberry and banana pancakes in bed.  I felt well enough to nap with Marlo on my chest, the best thing ever.  We walked to the farmers market on Divisadero and it felt so great to be outdoors.  Eric bought me bunches of flowers and arranged them throughout the house.  A trip to The Mill and friendly barista exclaiming, "You had your baby!" And then, "Welcome to the world, Marlo!"

We are also just continuing our routine of reading Gone Girl out loud to each other during and in between nursing.  Marlo seems to dig it, as well!

Our Baby Girl! <3<3<3

Meet Marlo Joanne Costa Katerman ("Mar" after my father & "Joanne" for Eric's grandmother).  Born April 29, 7:23 pm.  9lbs, 12oz! 20.5 inches long.  We are all healthy and in absolute love.  I'll update with a birth story soon.  I will just say for now that even though things did not follow our "plan," the experience was amazing.  Recovery has been a bit challenging, but I am so incredibly grateful to be able to hold my sweet baby girl and grasp her tiny fingers as she nurses.  Indescribable.  Lovelovelove.

41 weeks = Patience Practice

I decided that until baby comes, I'll just keep falling deeper and deeper into my 70s SF hippie alter ego. On the walk home from a chiropractor appointment, I came across Mickey's Monkey on lower Haight. This crazy mumu dress thing was in the window and made me stop in. I was feeling somewhat blue and it struck me as 1) kinda ugly in an awesome way, 2) screaming home birth mama, and 3) may fit me now, would totally fit postpartum, and may look cute with my thrifted red CorkEase platform sandals and the right top knot or Maude braids.  When the shop owner told me it was $25, I bought it without trying it on and he even gave me a "prospective mama" discount of no tax. :) I was actually surprised when I got home to learn that it fits (very few things do right now)!

So... 41 weeks. I was hoping to not be here, but the non-stress test at the hospital confirmed baby is perfectly healthy. We go for another tomorrow. They will want to induce by Tues or Wed, I'm not sure. In the meantime, I've tried everything I know and have heard of to help encourage the babe to come. It's been a mental test. Here's the list and I'm probably forgetting some things: yoga, acupuncture, chiropractor, prostaglandins, herbal tinctures (black cohosh & cotton bark), therapist (to "let go" of any possible mental blocks), positive visualization, meditation, talking to baby and explaining how ready we are-- I'll stop now because just writing all this out is making me sad! I know I can't force this to happen and that the baby is another person who has a say in the situation. Folks point out this is a good lesson in parenting - that things do not go as planned. I go through waves where I'm fine with everything and then other times where panic sets in. We've just prepared so much for this baby and I worry about the health risks involved if we have to induce. I know you're not supposed to get too attached to your birth plan, but I'm not ready yet to give up on our plans for a natural water birth at home.

I can say that a HUGE positive step of progress was that yesterday I lost my mucus plug (!!!!!). I apologize if that's an overshare, but it happens and it was such an exciting sign for me that my body is getting more ready to give birth. I had just finished having a good cry that morning about baby not being here: was it my fault for working late into pregnancy or for not being in the right head space, etc.? Eric was super reassuring, supportive, and calming. After, I took a shower and when I got out, I noticed something on the bathroom floor and immediately knew what it was. It's silly, but I was SO happy. I even took a few pics with me giving a big thumbs up next to it. I'll spare you those, but was remembering the pics we saw in our home birth class. Again, "Everything is normal (and sort of beautiful)" is the mantra I took away from those 6 Mondays evenings.

So today I'm listening to an amazing 90s LadyJamz mix my friend, Lilly made. It has SWV, Mary J. Blige, loads of Mariah, and is seriously making my day. I'll continue to read Gone Girl, which I'm so happy is really is a page-turner and great distraction from worrying. Today is Eric's last day of work for 2 weeks (HOORAH!!!). My plan is to keep doing all my homeopathic rituals and do my best to stay positive & patient. If the babe hasn't arrived by Sunday morning, I'll try castor oil and continue to hope for the best. Wish us luck. We love you all so much.

The Joy of Cooking

To prepare for post-partum and to help the time pass so that I do not go crazy with anticipation, we have been cooking good meals and freezing the leftovers. This weekend, Eric and Yvonne made lasagne from our go-to recipe book, The Joy of Cooking. While they were cooking, I cleaned all the floors in the apartment and was hoping that it was one of those nesting/cleaning/bursts of energy you hear that some women get right before they go into labor. No such luck, but at least the floors got clean. :)

Yvonne looks so cute in my new favorite apron! We began Saturday in Oakland with close friends at Beauty's Bagel Shop for wood-fired bagels. Then we headed back into the city to hit up the Embarcadero farmer's market and Sur La Table (hence, the apron).

                  

40 weeks, 6 days + BEACH!!!

While doing our best to be patient, we are certainly taking advantage of this amazing weather in SF!! Yesterday, we had a wonderful beach day with my favorite standard Italian caprese sandwiches. The LL Bean totes were a sweet gift from Eric's aunt. There's a third tote that says, "The Baby"!

Due Date + Papa Cake

Today is the Baby's estimated due date! I have had a feeling that baby would come a bit after, but this day still feels special in an odd way. Because I have yoga tonight, we went ahead and had the due date date yesterday with pizza and Argo. The pizza was delicious and Argo was entertaining. What is it about men with long 70s hair and beards? Hotthotthott.

We were also celebrating a big work deadline for Eric. For that, we made him his favorite cake from when he was little--black cherry. It's kind of like Black Forest cake, but with choco frosting instead of whipped cream and the cherries + cherry syrup are mixed into the cake batter.

Today, I went to acupuncture, which I LOVE. Then, Yvonne (Eric's mom, who arrived last Wed evening and is seriously the BEST) treated us to mani/pedis. I choose a cherry pink and it makes me feel better about swollen feet and cankles. :D We returned to the apartment and made my sister's chili recipe in the crock pot. We plan to have it for lunch tomorrow and then to freeze for post-partum meals.

My first week of maternity leave has flown by! I've been having so much fun-- first running around and getting loads of last minute things for the baby and post-partum, now relaxing more and cooking/ baking. The next thing on my list is to begin attacking the backlog of emails I need to send.

Yoga class was so nice tonight. It's strange to be the "elder" as my teacher called me tonight or the one furthest along. I'll miss the community, but look forward to the next part: Mama + Baby yoga with my favorite teacher.

P. S. I love that Eric is wearing an old AmeriCorps *NCCC sweatshirt that I inherited from my Team Leader when we were finishing up our year of service back in 1997!